Chocolatefood1 in "Ed's Custom"

I hate the commonly conjured-up image of the perfect woman. More importantly I hate the stigma, the culture and the brainwashing/whitewashing behind this fabrication. Niggas act like the best women gotta have triple F cup sized breasts, an 80 inch ass, enunciate all of the syllables in the words that she speaks, walk with the posture straight enough to balance three college books on her head and I'm over it. And the lesser I discuss the topic about how women are objectified in the media the lower my blood pressure stays. I'm just completely over it.

The worst imaginary rule conjured up by these vaudevillians is that "ladies don't fart/poop". Da fuq? Which commandment is that? Who died on the cross or got assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald and made that "rule" once they took the oath of office? The audacity of these high horse riders… See this is why I don't like people speaking for me or making up things they think I might like. And most of the time they're only putting something in motion to benefit themselves. That's leadership for you, am I right rebels? (Of course I am.)

There's only one authority figure whose judgment I trust will cater to my wants & needs in life as it pertains to quality and no it's not Barack Obama. It's true that I miss my President being black but not even he had too much of the same ideals that make up my deoxyribonucleic acid. It's definitely not Joe Biden and the fewer facts spoken about his history with Blacks the lower every informed Black person's blood pressure stays too. I'm actually talking about Eddie Murphy Jr., 2K21 FFC President at large.

This dude had the intestinal fortitude and the everlasting love of scat to commission a custom poop clip from one of our community's massively-overslept-on talents in a young Black woman named Chocolatefood1 back when he was serving as FFC Vice President. The boldness and demonstration in power goes unmatched compared to any other Black man that I have immense respect for 'til this very day. I'm pretty sure Obama and Will Smith will eat ass whereas The Rock might be on the fence but I'm sure neither man will watch an $80 prime rib dinner fall outta their old lady. Ed summoned a thousandth of their pocket change and paid this girl to roll camera on her smartphone. Here's a lil preview of Ed's Custom.

I had to pick my jaw up off of da floor and mop the spot of impact with Fabuloso after watching this clip. I totally didn't know what to expect to see when I opened up Telegram. I mean, even though Ed yelled the things he liked about it like Phil Davidson when he spewed his most famous political platform, but saying that there was "twerking" and a "phat big ol' load" doesn't do the booty foodie's artistry any justice. It doesn't even get the freeloaders erect even though they carry enough giddiness and youth to be Quagmire's kids. You gotta break down the goodness into little sections like a good book. Allow me to be your fecal Stephen King:

Her body issa heavy want.

Like I said before, all dat nonsense about how a woman is supposed to look flies over my head. A woman doesn't have to be as anorexic as Marilyn Monroe nor beat Meg Thee Stallion in a thickness contest for me to love her but this here Chocolatefood1 is a fine choice for middle ground. Based on how she looks in the opening frames of the video, I'd say she was 4'11 or taller with cup size C(?) breasts that I can't really guesstimate until she lets the dawgs loose out of a thin strapped tank. All of her other meat looks cute on her little frame especially after the wave in the beginning. And of course a lil pudge around the torso never offended anybody who ever had a butthole to wipe clean after a meeting with the toilet bowl. But dat ass doe…

The music is big mood rn.

It's the only thing keeping me calm after witnessing the yams of CF1 expanding in the doggie position. For the life of me I cannot identify the artist, but I know it has to be a popular female R&B with a debut within the past 10 years or so. She kinda sounds like Erykah Badu and the beat sounds similar to Busta Rhymes' Got You All In Check. Idk. Whatever it is eases my soul while my flag pole stands at full mast.

An appetizer always comes before a big meal.

Whatever's in that little spritzer bottle our chocolate starlet of the moment sprays it all over her already-bottomless half of her body. Those fluffy-yet-firm and patterned cheeks of hers wobble from side to side with the beat of… whatever that song is. It was the only time in my life that I was dizzy and impressed in my life outside of a World Star Hip Hop video featuring Sweet Lea Lea. The synchronization is truly key here and "Choc🍫" keeps that same kind of energy, consistency and suspense leading into the next song titled As Soon As I Get Home by Faith Evans and its stanky developments. Since the release of the hit single by Biggie's famous widow almost three decades ago, I never thought I'd EVER see a stanky load get released to the soundtrack of this song. You've maybe saw a greasy load shot off in a porno or seen TV actors fake the real thing in a TV series like Soul Food to this song but never in a doo-doo porno. I certainly wouldn't mind getting a striptease to this😩 Made you forget that this was a scat video, huh?🤣

The icing on the (moisturized) cake(s).

Dat azz wobbling def made me forget. I felt like a cat looking at a laser dot on the wall and Chocolatefood1 was my proverbial white owner twirling the pen around for her sick amusement. The sight of the first pebble of green doo-doo made me pop up like catnip was hiding inside of her bowels, then she wins me over with the full treat as it slides out of a formerly puckered pink asshole. This pet is now pleased. And if the overall sex appeal of the video doesn't please you, the sound of her voice will as the FFC Sheriff's wife describes the size of her chocolate rope sausage. Look at it laying there! The first time I watched this part of Ed's Custom I jerked to the finished product like the crackhead in one of the jokes from Dave Chappelle's For What It's Worth.

Chocolatefood1 receives a Kinkgressional Gold Medal for her cable-laying work.🎖

President Ed seemed ecstatic when he got his custom back (he should since he coughed up the dough to have it made), and I'm over the moon having ordered a copy of it. To be honest about this shit flick-- despite all of the oil rubbing, hip gyrating, cheek lifting and turd laying, Ed's Custom is 4 minutes and 36 seconds of nothing but entertainment. You can make it sexual all you want, but the unique way in which Choc makes her bodily function must-see mini portable TV is the real takeaway here. It's little hidden gems like this from melanated ladies outside the mainstream realm of this fetish that inspires my reviews and I encourage any and all readers to buy Ed's Custom. Give this lil chocolate lady the same energy you give the famous sex workers and cherish her entire run in this industry while it lasts!

ORDER DIRECTLY FROM HER HERE!

VISIT HER SCATSHOP FOR MORE EBONY (S)HITS!!!