Morning Load

Most guys who are bold enough to open their mouth have a general blueprint of their ideal woman. All my adult life, I've heard all of the criteria many different men spew forth harder than challengers hurl Sprite & bananas on YouTube. "My future wifey gotta have tig ol' bitties!" "My ol' lady gotta be able to slay the kitchen AND an outfit!" I've heard so many of these concocted fantasies that they sound like broken records and down-right misogynistic dummies. None of those things should determine a woman's eligibility for marriage.

I personally don't look at things like movie star-lite facial features or titanic body parts when it comes to picking a significant other. Everything on a woman of that stature can fade over time and in the interim, you're stuck with the bougie ass attitude that resides within her mind. I don't wanna lose any hair color or skin elasticity over anything that artificial. (Not saying that everybody who fits that description is stuck up. It's just my experience.)

You wanna know what my type of woman does? Gets naked and poop. Not necessarily those two things put together, but everything that the fancy magazines and TV shows condition them not to do in front of a guy I love to death. See, the same mentality I have about wifey material carries over to fetish models too. Women already have enough issues to worry without being told what or what isn’t lady-like. Carolina Redbone however feels comfortable being herself with her hubby, and such assurance from him creates dope moments like the shit that happens in their scat clip Morning Load.

The wifey is so confident in her own image and convinced by her hubby that pooping is sexy, she lets him sneak into the bathroom and capture this one moment of her delivering a fully-developed food baby. Moments like these are the complete opposite of Real Housewives of Any City; cameras are set up in one of the fewest places of the house that the crews will not enter, filming the one thing that most couples don't engage in. There's no scripted drama, no designer clothes, no handed-down job, nothing but the wife's plush frame bent over as she takes a conference call from Mother Nature. All of the food this famous couple had for dinner makes its way out of one of the peachiest, cutest spouts to ever be placed in front of two round cheeks and a pussy as phat as an NFL linebacker.

I slick cheered the wifey on like her hubby as this masterpiece of shit was being pushed out. I don't throw shade on poop size or color either. Whatever comes out is what comes out. Women can't control those types of things. In fetish clips like Morning Load, it's always the mystery of what will come out that keeps me glued to the action like a fan of The Challenge. And once you find out that a soft roll of tan South Carolina brand liver pudding is being served, all of the anxiety built up in the previous dozen of seconds changes into a greasy climax. I can't help but admire that 6th gif. It's the thickness and cracks in the turd for meee!

Tumblr might be dead and gone like the good videos off of Pornhub, but you can still enjoy this legendary doo-doo porn flick for free at this Dropbox link.