Punda Friction-- Beans 'N Eggs

"Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you fart. The more you fart, the better you feel. So eat baked beans with every meal." That's how the nursery rhyme goes. I highly doubt anybody heeds the advice administered in those famous lines joyfully. We as a group of people born without a silver spoon in their mouths or an iPad in our cribs do those things because we need to. I eat beans because money sometimes gets tight after payday. I fart because the gas stabs me on the inside as I hold it, or it may be time to drop the kids off at the pool. Sometimes I do it because Gothicc Mari and other girls on Twitter like to hear me do it. (I secretly think she eats dude booty.) Welp fellow scat fanatics, "The Goddess" Kumora Brilee is back to bless us with another clip featuring her famed culo emissions produced for (almost) all the reasons listed above-- just so long as you're willing to shell out the coins to see it. If you're somehow on the fence about buying it, allow me to show you why Beans 'N Eggs, a fetish clip more poetic than a nursery rhyme, is worth the money…

Food porn. Right after her trademark opening, there's a shot of a bowl filled with baked beans topped with peppered boiled eggs. As much of a foodie as I am, I only eat pork 'n beans & weenies once a week at most. This chick loves 'em so much, she eats 3 bowls and 6 eggs over the course of 24 hours passionately like a random Black dude in a hardcore tweet eats pussy. That amount of commitment alone gets you props from me. Some people eat this and other foods like ramen and tuna day in and day out, this nigga needs some variety in his diet-- even on a fixed income. Ion give a shit!

No one's stirring mac and cheese, but still.🍆. It's just something about the pitch in Kumora's voice that makes me so... giggity. Ordinarily, I wouldn't care about the narration that predates the flatulence in these type of clips but The Goddess manages to pique your interest when she says "I'm gonna destroy these beans, then I'm gonna record all my nasty farts!" Can you imagine her being a sample lady at the nearest grocery store saying "I'm gonna plug in this cooker, then I'm gonna cook some juicy sausages"??? My dick would rise up and knock over the sample table in one swift motion!!! Kumora's voice is more mesmerizing than Poison Ivy's pheromone dust in Batman & Robin. Definitely a necessary trait of a great ebony domme.

Her musical scores are better than anything heard on Brazzers. To be honest, nobody watches porn to hear the background music for the same reason nobody gets on an elevator to hear the music-- niggas are too busy tryin' to get off!!! You can't hear anything over all of the pelvic clashing and garbage disposal noises to begin with. The handful of ham blasts that shoot out of Kumora's asshole in this compilation are potent, quick, small contractions that signify the impending arrival of a protein-packed food baby. You get brief glances at The Goddess fully-clothed and bottomless(my fav!) in multiple scenes as she sprays her house with ass cologne. My personal favorite is when she's farting with the camera filming from below to give you a sneak peak at her yams and sweet kitty, but KB soon lifts her skirt and shows off the whole massterpiece. God I love unveilings…

Her money shot isn't greasy, but rather chunky. Any consistent merchant of KB's stores will tell you that there's always a treat at the end of her fart clips. It's kinda like what Marvel puts at the end of its movie credits to get fans anxious about the next movie. The Goddess not only rewards customer loyalty but leaves a little Easter egg to leave viewers happy, and it's not multicolored. If anything, it's different shades of brown and green. You don't get to see The Goddess eat her super dose of protein in style and luxury like an ASMR video (that woulda been a sexy start to this video), but you will however see those beans and eggs make another cameo appearance in this instant classic. KB pulls down her leggings, sits down, spreads her massive ass cheeks and unleashes a massive, stubborn load into the porcelain swimming pool below after farting for so long.

My words can't do its description enough justice. Her poop generates anxiety as it squeezes its way out of her pouting butthole, amazement as it revels in its thick glory while falling from between The Goddess' divine cheeks, and Guinness Book of World Records level attraction as it lays in its porcelain waterbed, covered in tissue sheets. For Marvel fanboys, it's like seeing Reed Richards stretch out of his original proportion to, I don't know, save a tourist that fell off of the Baxter Building or something. And that's Ioan Gruffudd's version of Mr. Fantastic, not that new guy that succeeded him...

Having watched the elapsed metamorphosis of beans and eggs from solid food serving to gas to digested food serving, I feel like Beans 'N Eggs is just one dope-ass, 5 minute and 10 second documentary that is far more interesting than anything you'll find on the Discovery Channel. The Goddess plays her tushie trumpet like she's cleaning her house and drops off a stanky load flawlessly like it's laundry going into a high efficiency washer. Each wiggle, each outblast and the sole porcelain kiss is like a sprinkle of her own genius that KB adds to this concept in order to make it a mouth-watering dish. Get yourself a fresh serving here.