Damn, that's another holiday designed to give kids free candy– Halloween. Gotta love holidays. I personally feel like they're created with the intent to either enable kids to get free candy/gifs or enable adults to whore themselves out for a cultural cause. Now that you see it, you can't unsee it. The epiphany is sprayed all over everything like champagne at New Year's Eve. At a White New Year's Eve party.

Sure the kids look precious in their elaborate uniforms and juvenile makeup, but the adults participating in Halloween feel a bit griftish unless they're severe fanboys. There's no nurse, vampire, bus lady or referee that needs to show that much ass & thighs meat. (Got me up here soundin’ like my granddad.)

Thanks to the miniscule efforts of public grade school education, and later Wikipedia, I understand the real origin of Halloween. Somehow American society took a foreign festival and tied candy charity to it; I believe adults were dressing skimpy and getting drunk since its inception. I guess candy is the cheapest gift you can give a group of wandering strangers🤷🏿‍♂️

There was a rumor out when I was a kid that a house in the neighborhood I used to trick-or-treat in gave out food instead of candy. Think about it like the Dusty Rhodes promo, this lady gave out FREE FOOD my nigga. Free food. Not the shit that rots your teeth, the shit that sticks to your ribs and puts 400 lb. grown men to sleep. Boy I wish that legend was true. I personally never went to the lady's house, that rumor was just hearsay. And you know how much little kids lie through their snaggleteeth.

I do know of an urban legend that gives out the kind of shit that sticks to your teeth for Halloween, and weirdly enough the treat is just that– shit. It's not Breanne “Sparkle” Williams no, this is a different urban legend that every time she walks, her ass cheeks clap. Without her even trying, they just clap. Damn that sounds like a woman built with God's big bronze hands. Ironically enough her name is ClapperTona (not shittin’ you) and the clip Imma review for you today serves as a theoretical poop order clip and the preparation content is called Spooky Dookie. Scroll down and watch the magic happen like a rich White person in Vegas with a gigantic Margarita👇🏾









My nigga, did you see dat ass? Holy fucking God, it makes me wanna sing like Larry Starks on an Instagram segment. Usually within the first few viewings of a fetish clip, there's a debate within my brain about the more outstanding feature but I'm pretty sure the winner is clearer than Saran wrap tied up for a practical joke:
In the debate of booty vs. dookie, the clear winner is booty 🍑


The booty is clearly the MVP of this half minute toilet trip. I just can't wrap my brain around its configuration because it's scattered into a thousand pieces inside my skull. The thing that gets me is the spread. Between a BBW and a thickie like ClapperTona, they all have the best spreads. Sorry bulimic and stick-skinny ladies🤷🏿 With you alls abilities to hold a turd in with the patience of a born-again Christian waiting on The Four Horsemen, y'all win in the long turd production and ass-splitting nominee categories of the EFRO Zone awards.
But women with that much booty meat the vibe feels like fetish models are holding back the flood gates while the stanky flood comes rushing down on the floor. The funk had to be so bad that the Halloween candy bucket had his face frowned! Lucky mothafucka… ClapperTona gets five stars for making a plastic crap-o-lantern.

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