Midget Shits Outside-- Breanne "Sparkle" Williams

There's a part of me deep down inside that believes there are secret members of the extreme fetish community residing below the surface of vanilla society. These covert members are little groundhogs scratching and clawing their way up to fresh air, hoping to join the other animals in roaming free. Every joke, every bathroom scene, and every reference feels like a beacon to all of the people who are infatuated with farts, poop, pee and other bodily functions. They're brief instances that we as an audience can feel shocked when offered up, yet amused when the punchlines hit. Then our nasty sides retreat back into hibernation until we get a dose of the really graphic stuff.

The whole situation with OBJ and his baby moms made me, and everyone with a fetish Twitter account, believe that he was a fetishist of some sort but since he loosely denied the stinky event told by the real-life Kanker Sisters, that makes a huge L for the fetish community. Cardi B is another unofficial member everybody was willing to accept. This chick farted more on one Instagram live than Jessica Simpson did the whole year of 2006. She even filmed her bout with diarrhea once and while the sound of Mexican corn splattering the inside of her toilet bowl after running away from her costume designer was a nice snippet of reality, it wasn't any real indicator for me. Until Cardi films her Instagram stories and the things she tweets about from the other end, that's another dub. Consider her inclusion dumped like Nick Lashay in June of that year.

I don't mean to make this kind of lifestyle sound like it’s the Illuminati or anything. After all, people should feel proud to celebrate their kinks whether they are male or female (or transgender), famous or middle class, vanilla or chocolate. I haven’t seen a group of people with a common trait this sheltered since The X-Men. Well fetish ladies and gentlemen, another exemplary being has risen out of the ashes to make her status as a fetish-friendly sex worker known and she has added “scat” to her power set. They call her “Sparkle”.

Breanne "Sparkle" Williams makes her first appearance in The Uncanny S-Men Issue #73.

This was definitely a Charles Xavier moment for me. As I sat in my foldable football chair in the wooden and brick Cerebro that is my bedroom in my apartment, I saw this potential S-Man amongst all of the others who populate OnlyFans. Her hologram was admittedly smaller than 99% of the others but I knew this one was special. She has all the thickness of a BBW but in half the height and width. God Lawd she's a midget! ("Little person" if that word offends you.) I've never seen a midget poop before, at least not until I subbed to Breanne's page. For a fanboy like me it was a sight to behold indeed. It was like watching The Hulk rip apart an Army tank in one snap or Miss Marvel blast her way through Thanos' spaceship. Just astounding throughout the entire runtime, from beginning to end. Check these panels out to see what I mean…

"Sometimes I wonder if midgets have regular poops or just tiny lil midget turds. That's all I wanna know." Larry The Cable Guy once stated that in a comedy routine and if he watched scat videos, he'd know that Sparkle pretty much cured his curiosity. This girl pretty much squatted down and unleashed one of the longest turds known to little mankind. My head hung in shock as I played the footage on my smartphone. It was the only time that I've ever been legit shocked, turned on and empty from the waist down watching a fetish clip save for a few JAV videos. Still, this little woman deserves kudos just like anybody else on OnlyFans and here's how I will give them out:

• Little people need love too Craig! The love I have for Sparkle doesn't really fall in the general vicinity of what others find entertaining about midgets/little people. To me, little women are just smaller versions of the other ladies that have the privilege to enter our screens, not "God's little punchlines". Heff, Lawd rest his soul, was good enough to persuade Pam Anderson to take her clothes off for us playboys. Then we were also blessed with Jemma Suicide in Suicide Girls. Sweet Lea Lea has been a strip club vet for God knows how many years, and Lil Vee/Fire was courageous enough to enlist thereafter. Jim Brownski was clever enough to introduce scat lovers to legends like GothAndGassy, so it's only fair that little people like the former "Mz. Cupkakez" follows suit where so many taller women have dominated this adult genre. I'ma email Jim after this to see if he can get Sweet Lea Lea to pinch off a couple of bright-colored loafs for a fee. *Opens up Gmail*

• Now I'm starting to see why they call her "Sparkle". I looked at this thang like Jack looked at the golden egg after it fell out of the giant's goose. Honestly-- I didn't know what to expect since I had never watched a midget poop before but what I had the pleasure of laying my brown eyes on what looked like a life-sized Tootsie Roll with a pinch-off that puts soft serve to shame. This stinky lil treat was shiny like a golden egg too! And just like that I love little women even more. Life must be good as her pet dog...

• Location, location, location. And speaking of yard dogs and personal property, I must applaud Breanne's chosen destination to pinch her pumpernickel loaf off at. She has the kind of backyard that you can build a garden or practice yoga in. Instead, our resident midget chooses to breathe in the southwestern afternoon air, stick her fat lil butt out and eject all of the negative energy (and processed carbs) out of her body. The abundant scenery, bright sun and barefoot squat outside her house makes for a therapeutic experience in more ways than the dirtiest.

• No bullshittery needed. As you can tell by the runtime, this long chocolate drop was on the quicker side of the bowel movement spectrum. There was no teasing, no role play, just a small lift of her exotic red dress and the meal & beverage is freshly-squeezed for the flies of this hot climate zone to attack. Lucky little niggas. Most people wanna be a fly on the wall for something like Chloe Bailey or KeKe Palmer's dick appointments but these showings are just as impressive. Think about that while you're sucking the meat off of stowed-away chicken wings when you go to see the new Space Jam movie on July the 16th…

Two brown thumbs and a white, greasy, 5 oz. blob of boneless babies go up for Breanne "Sparkle" Williams' Midget Shits Outside.

Tacking on this experience, I had seen my first midget nude centerfold, stripper and poop pornstar within the time span of a decade. One of my adult trifectas is complete! And the only thing better than that is that I spent a handful of dollars to do it. Small victories. My only remaining wish in this brand of exploits is that more little women come forward with the passion to do stuff like this. I don't mean no harm but I've never seen anything so CUTE yet sexy all in one package! That lil squat hits harder with smaller limbs, tiny toes(you know I'ma foot man too), and thicker ass cheeks. And that same energy is evident in everything midgets do, even for things like walking and fighting. What's Fire and Brichette doing these days? Anybody know off the top of their head? Anyways… I had to sift thru the dozens of nudes and sex sessions to find what I wanted, but little gems like this make an OnlyFans hunt worth the time invested. She has captions on each post that help distinguish what is what. Surely you wouldn't mind tapping "subscribe" on Sparkle's page, scrolling down to this post and watch this small sex symbol put in some dirty work.