My clearest memories of Atlanta are nothing but good ones. My last trip that I remember to the ebony fetish capital of the United States is spotty but everlasting; I remember seeing the church Martin Luther King Jr. preached at, there was a museum dedicated to the movie Gone With The Wind, the hotel I stayed in was top notch. The continental breakfasts were lit asf too! They cooked the food in front of you. Even the lil Black receptionist looked yummy. I can remember wanting to clap her lil cheeks… Still– good times that I'll never forget. Take me back, please! I haven't been since Bow Wow was famous… for his rap. Say you're old without saying you're old, huh?
Don't ask about why I haven't been back or that weird-ass visit to that museum. In my defense, I've been to plenty of other places since my last trip to the home of the Dirty Birds and Hawks with all the optimism of the Atlanta Dream mascot and one thousandth of any player's salary. I still get out when the 9 to 5 grants me time off. I'm not as elusive as your average fetish domme on one of her world tours. Must be nice; collect deposits from men you've never met before and drive or fly to a select city to take in all of the sights before this strange man who's fascinated by asses takes in everything from your colon. If I could do that as a man-hoe version of a human toilet and become famous for laying under ebony arches in the Deep South, I would. Then again, there's already somebody like that on Twitter…🤔
- Total nonstop ass action. This fetish clip blows 3 Dumps A Day out of the water and into the power lines next to the sneakers hanging by their laces in terms of urgency. In that clip you had the luxury of gradually watching LHR's poise decompose, in this clip she cuts straight to the bullshit. From second number 0 to minute 4 and second 41 is filled with nothing but bowel movements. There's rarely any time to stop and clown around like working as a Chick Fil-A associate but the few moments of intermission provide the audience with her sweet-as-Polynesian-sauce commentary and toilet selfies.
- If anybody embodies a peach emoji, it's Juice. She has sat on a funky queen's throne before, but the angle for the toilet portion of Atlanta Dump Disaster comes from a farther distance than what I'm accustomed to seeing. Juice's cell phone catches the entire heart shape of her goosebump-riddled yams as they smother the toilet seat like white people smother their bagels with cream cheese spread. The fact that this sexy lady filled a storage container in addition to an American Standard toilet bowl is incredible enough in reminiscence but to see that skinny, round ass hover like a space alien mothership over the planet Earth in every action-adventure movie puts the cardiovascular strain of constant energy drink consumption to shame. You even get a taste of the kitty too. Visual taste, fellas. Nerds could prolly program the kitty version of the see-no-evil monkey emoji in her honor.
- Imma call her "Juicy Drip Drip" from now on. She has never done corkscrew somersaults onto a prone body for a living (unless her fart sessions have deep secrets), but dat body is a Tesla grade of immaculacy. The same energy goes all the way down to that Scatbook-famous bootyhole of hers. I'm so in love with it at this point, I don't een care about the consistency of her doo-doo anymore so long as the hemmies make a brown screen appearance. LetHerRipp poured her ass out in this one tho. She did it so frequent as to eat up 80% of her screen time in ass evacuations but not so hard as to spray an American loo like niggas do at a fast food restaurant or bus depot. And speaking of toxic ass sludge–
- Out-doing her old classics. All the all-time greats do it at some point in honing their craft. It wasn't good enough for Michael Jordan to win a ring, but the nigga won SIX championships with the Bulls. Kobe and Magic won multiples with the Lakers, Larry Bird and Bill Russell did the same with the Celtics, Bron-Bron tasted gold with his numerous teams– apparently he took the Sting approach to achieving greatness. Forgive me for whichever other goats I leave out as examples but you feel me on this one. JezebelJuice is forever goated (already!) for the ass whupping she handed her home throne in 3 Dumps A Day but the ferocity her deliciously-pink guts showed in this funky full feature pretty much puts its predecessor to shame, I reluctantly would like to admit. There are so many tiny dark green turds floating on top of the water in Atlanta Dump Disaster, they look like little Minions cheering on their release from Juice's system!
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