EB49's Soft Serve

Have you heard about the superheroine that shits ice cream? Swear to God🤞🏾Google it. There's a lady superhero and her one & only superpower is to literally shit out any flavor of ice cream, directly from the same area you and I sit on a toilet bowl. There's so many things I have to digest from this. Let's start the list:

1. Her name is Soft Serve! That's it! Not much left to the imagination there. She could've been named anything else to prevent the character's purpose being too on-the-nose: Sweetie Swirl, Swirl Girl (I like that one😌), Sugar Cone Queen… NOPE. This comes at less of a shock when you realize that Black Manta is a Black man, or that The Question's main ability is… asking questions.
2. Of all the places on a woman's body (i.e. hands, breasts, belt buckle, eyes, etc.), the creator chose the ANUS for the mutant to project cold, creamy delights from.
3. Rumor has it that ice cream isn't stored in the girl's body, it falls thru a portal from another dimension that just so happens to be located IN HER ANUS.
4. The portal doesn't just open up Thanos Infinity Gauntlet style and generate the ice cream, this skinny, muscular, starved lil white woman has to assume the position fetish-worker-style for the creamy goodness to come out. Scat fetish triggered🍆 
5. The shit comes out appropriately scented and tempered. Since ice cream is kept frozen, it comes out cooler than The Fabolous Freebirds ready for a match. If Soft Serve is firing out a request for a vanilla double scoop, the cone of frosted delight smells and tastes sweet rather than the coffee-like bitter taste of… human soft serve. And all of the other comic book characters are fine with that!

Too many people have made the same discovery as me and came to the conclusion that the creator, Bob Quinn, simply has a scat fetish. I personally don't care whether that assumption is true or not; it's not like the guy is gonna come out on Twitter (still not calling it “X”) and admit that he has an extensive library of JAV/MFX videos dating back to my birth decade. I am just elated that unlike the obvious trolling that Quinn and Seth McFarlane have done to the extreme fetish community, there are an abundance of women nationwide who will squat down to pour the yummiest-looking soft serve from their own asses! Here in the EFRO Zone, where I have a bigger obsession for alliteration than Stan Lee, we have a woman more endowed than the Krakoa native who's able to create their own flavor of soft serve. EB49 is the mild-mannered protagonist who took over the mantle of Soft Serve just for a minute and 56 seconds, and the following is an animated look into the demonstration of her powers.

Eb's cosplaying of Soft Serve in this identically-named clip earns her 5 stars.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ok, she didn't really portray a character created with the intent as an office joke at Marvel headquarters. But Ebony's unfortunate trip to the bathroom on this day resulted in a scat classic that should easily rank among the top clips sold on FemScat. Here's why I think so:

• Her uniform. I never got why super-powered beings needed bright, flashy outfits in the first place. I always thought from 2008 going forward that the skin-tight, color-coded suit designs were strictly a lowkey way for comic book artists to draw naked women. Welp have no fear sci-fi gooners, there is nothing left to the imagination about how EB49's lower half looks like without clothes. She had the decency to at least remove her bottoms before starting her disposal.
• Regular heroes take off, fetish workers squat. These trademarks are always iconic. Iron Man looks up, opens his palms, connects his heels then lifts off. Spider-Man thwips some webbing before flying into the air. Batman just disappears. Eb in this clip is already in the squat position as she's ready to dump enough toxic sludge to mutate four sewer turtles and a rat into four teenagers and a karate sensei. The body positioning is perfect with her back to the camera whereas in her last appearance, we were blessed with a minor bird's eye view. That side view doe… 🌋
• More powerful than a locomotive. The ice cream machines in your favorite restaurant franchises pour the ice cream so slowly, it feels like they're seductively teasing you with what you're about to eat. The muddy mousse that leaves Eb's spout? This stanky stuff almost flies out from between her butt cheeks. And can I get a moment to shout out her pee stream? I don't pay a lot of attention to the peeing part of fetish clips but this laser beam bladder blasting definitely impressed me. It topped off the last bit of booty blasting once the stream reached full power! Storm Breaker would be jealous of this pee’s might.
• She has the power to turn back time? She gotta be a Superman fan to be able to turn the clock back. I woulda said ‘Superwoman’ but I don't know her exact skillset. The only thing better than seeing Eb squat boogety-booty butterball naked to take a gale-force frothy shit is to see it replay again in slow motion. The close-up is a nice touch to the special effects added to this video.
• At long last, her own serving is fresh and ready🍦And speaking of camera effects, Eb definitely earned her paycheck with the follow-up footage from her booty spewing. If you had to guess, what flavor would you think her doo-doo is? It's a fantasy of mine for women of that skin tone to fart out peanut butter flavored treats but we all have a sense of realism. That load prolly smelled like humid Texas death, polluted mud and spoiled corn beef hash but prolly tastes like Rocky Road. Disgusting, right? That's the point.

When the mainstream heroes are too squeaky clean and pale for you, you have super-powered ethnic beings like EB49 to take up the mantle and overshadow their Caucasian counterparts! I hope the Ultimate Soft Serve springs into action again really soon…

READ PAST ADVENTURES FEATURING THIS THICK, FUNKY PROTAGONIST HERE!!!